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Great college admission essay intro

Great college admission essay intro

great college admission essay intro

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But before diving into analyzing some great personal statement examples, it helps to get some context on what a personal statement actually is, and what writers should plan to include when writing their own personal statement. What is a personal statement? Why read personal statement examples? What should a personal statement include? I Ethan have spent the last 15 years answering this question, which you can learn more about in my free 1-hour guide.


In our opinion, a great personal statement example has 4 qualities: insight, vulnerability, values, and craft. Want a more thorough guide on how to write a personal statement?


Day I am using my school uniform as a slate to tally the days. As the ink slowly seeps through the fabric of my shirt, I begin to understand that great college admission essay intro a conscious Arab comes with a cost.


Day 7: I come across a live stream on social media, 1, Palestinian political prisoners are on their seventh day of a hunger strike against the Israeli occupation. It is the first I have heard of its occurrence. I allow myself to follow the news daily through social media while regional mainstream media and our local news channels refrain from reporting any news of the great college admission essay intro. Day I am engulfed by the cry for justice.


Day No one else seems to know anything about what is going on. I am compelled to find a way to embody the struggle. In my first period class, I see a marker beside the whiteboard. It seems funny at first--they laugh, confused. But each time the marker touches the fabric it tells a story. It is a story of occupied countries, a story in which resisting apartheid becomes synonymous with criminality, a story we refuse to address great college admission essay intro we have grown too apathetic to value life beyond our borders.


As my classmates draw the tally, together we tell the story of the hunger strike and mourn the distance human beings have created between each other. Day My uniform has become a subject of question. Each pair of eyes that fix their gaze on the ink, I share the story of our Palestinian compatriots.


The initial responses are the same: disbelief, followed by productive conversation on our moral responsibility to educate ourselves on the conflict. Day Each day the strike continues, great college admission essay intro, I have asked my classmates to draw another line on the tally. While it still comes across as unsettling, it seems to no longer represent the reality of the hunger strike. My classmates are no longer interested in what it means. I am supposed to move on already. After being instructed to get a new shirt, I choose to challenge the order.


As long as the hunger strike lasts, I will continue to voice the reality of the hundreds of prisoners, in hopes of recreating the sense of responsibility I originally sensed in my peers. Day A compromise deal is offered to the political prisoners and they suspend their hunger strike.


I walk out of school with a clean uniform and feel whole again, great college admission essay intro, but unnaturally so. I was left feeling an unspoken kind of weakness where I broke under the realisation that not all sorrows could resonate with people enough for me to expect them to lead movements. I would need to be the one to lead, to recreate the energy that the tally once inspired.


I decided to found a political streetwear brand, Silla, where fashion choices transcend superficial aesthetics by spreading a substantial message of equality and donating the profits to NGOs that advocate for social change, great college admission essay intro. Through Silla, great college admission essay intro, I am able to stay in touch with my generation, keeping them engaged with issues because of how they can now spend their money Silla has mobilized people to voice their opinions that align with equity and equality.


Because of my adherence to justice, I was elected student government president and I use it as a platform to be vigilant in reminding my peers of their potential, inspiring them to take action and be outspoken about their beliefs.


When the ink seeped through the fabric of my uniform it also stained my moral fibres, and will forever remind me that I am an agent of change. Uncommon topic and uncommon connections. Overall, this is just a stand out piece. The unique story of how the author had lines drawn on her shirt great college admission essay intro the reader in. Having an uncommon topic makes writing a strong essay a bit easier, but by itself is not enough for a great essay. The student does a great great college admission essay intro evoking the emotional response of her peers and beautifully articulates her own indignation with the apathy that emerges.


When you write your essay, consider how you can use uncommon connections to take your reader to places they may not have expected to go. Experimental structure. One of the many cool things about this essay is its structure, which demonstrates the quality of craft. The author uses a montage structure that emphasizes numbers and chronology, two ideas that are central to the content of the piece itself.


Remember, admissions officers read tons of personal statements; an uncommon structure can go a long way in setting you apart from the crowd. In it, she tells us about her politically-aware fashion line and her appointment as school president. As we make our way into the Haram, my heart shakes. It became the spiritual, visceral, and linguistic journey of a lifetime.


In Makkah, I quickly learn shopkeepers rip off foreigners, so exchanges like this, where I only have to say a few Arabic words, make me appear local. It also connects me with real locals: the Saudi Arabian pharmacist who sells me cough syrup, great college admission essay intro Egyptian grandmother seeking directions to the restroom, the Moroccan family who educates me on the Algerian conflict. Day 6: The tents of Mina.


Temperature blazing. Humidity high. I sleep next to an old woman who just embarked on her twentieth Hajj. Her ninety-year old energy--grounded, spiritual, and non-materialistic--inspires me. So far, every day has been a new discovery of my courage, spirit, and faith, great college admission essay intro, and I see myself going on this journey many more times in my life.


My new friend is curious where I, a Bengali, learned Urdu. I was delighted to discover the resonances: Qi-yaa-mah in Arabic becomes Qi-ya-mat in Urdu, Dh-a-lim becomes Zaa-lim… Urdu, great college admission essay intro, which I had previously only understood academically, was the key to developing a personal connection with a great college admission essay intro different from mine. When my parents want to speak privately, they speak our native tongue. My parents taught me to look out for myself from a young age, so Hajj is one of the only times we experienced something formative together.


It also made me aware of how important shared traditions are. As I think back to those sweltering, eclectic days, the stories and spiritual connections linger.


I came out of my American bubble and discovered I was someone to be looked up to. Having studied Islam my whole life, I knew the ins and outs of Hajj. This, along with my love for language, made me, the youngest, the sage of our group. Whether at the Al-Baik store in our camp or the Jamarat where Satan is stoned, people asked me about standards for wearing hijab or to read the Quran out loud.


I left the journey feeling fearless. The next time I go to Hajj, I want to speak two more languages: donc je peux parler à plus de gens and quiero escuchar más historias. Details about the specific resonance of Urdu words and the conversations this author shared with the people they met on their Hajj brings this essay to life.


Nearly every line is full of vivid imagery and textured language, great college admission essay intro. Those details make this piece fun to read and truly bring us into the world of the author. Uses images to convey a sense of time, place, and self. As a result, the author is able to talk about so many different aspects of their culture. The way the great college admission essay intro are conveyed also speaks to the aesthetic sensibilities of the author, providing another window into who they are as a person.


Uses dialogue effectively. In this piece, however, the author does a great job of using their conversations with people they meet along their journey to convey their values and interests.


Not only does the dialogue emphasize their fascination with language and cultural exchange, but it breaks up what would have been dense paragraphs into nice manageable chunks that are easier to read. In short, great college admission essay intro, I skipped two grades: first and sixth.


Between kindergarten and eighth grade, I attended five schools, including two different styles of homeschooling three years at a co-op and one in my kitchen. Before skipping, I was perennially bored. But when I began homeschooling, everything changed. Free to move as fast as I wanted, I devoured tomes from Jefferson, great college admission essay intro, Hamilton, and Madison to London, Kipling, and Twain.


I wrote page papers on subjects from Ancient Sparta and military history to the founding of the United States and the resounding impact of slavery. I discovered more than I ever had, kindling a lifelong joy for learning. While high school offered welcome academic opportunities--studying two languages and taking early science APs chief among them--the social environment was a different beast.


Many classmates considered me more a little brother than a true friend, and my age and laser focus on academics initially made me socially inept. Oftentimes, I secretly wished I was normal age. That secret desire manifested itself in different ways. I had grown up obsessively tracking my New England Patriots.


Now, instead of armchair quarterbacking, I poured hours into throwing mechanics and studying film after my homework each night. But in the rush to change, my attitude towards academics shifted; I came to regard learning as great college admission essay intro a job than a joy.


That view held sway until a conversation with my friend Alex, the fastest receiver on the team. As I told him I wished we could switch places so I could succeed on the gridiron, he stared incredulously. Instead of playing sports, I recognized, I should coach them.


My goal to coach professionally has already helped me embrace the academic side of the game--my side--rather than sidelining it. I have devoured scouting tomes, analyzed NFL game film, spoken with pros like Dante Scarnecchia, and even joined the American Football Coaches Association.


Academically, that change re-inspired me.




How To Write A College Essay Introduction -- Common App Essay Tips + General College Essay Tips

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great college admission essay intro

Sep 24,  · Knowing how to begin a college essay is daunting. It can be hard to write an engaging, authentic opener. But without an interesting hook, you risk getting lost in a vast sea of applications. To this end, we’ve put together some techniques about how to start a college essay to make your DTDT moment a little smoother and a little less stressful Student Essay: The Importance of Writing GRE vs. LSAT: Main Things to Consider 10 Great Online Libraries For Students Nov 14,  · How to quote lyrics in an essay apa, my dream vacation america essay. Sentence starters for college essays. Essay about line graph. My pet dog essay words winter vacation during covid essay. Short essay of sigiriya, good conclusion examples for argumentative essay. How to write a intro for a persuasive essay gre awa essays pdf

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